Update on us

So I'm currently in my second week at my new job.  I am enjoying it very much.  I definitely miss my babies though and can't wait to be working 2nd shift so that I can be with them during the day.

Last week was a bit difficult for me in regards to Vinny because every time he would be with me, he would scream bloody murder {no exaggeration here}.  He would scream every time I would set him down or even give him any attention.  Turns out, he was mad at me. {tear} He was mad that I had left him everyday with someone else to care for him.  Needless to say that when this was brought to light, I bawled like crazy {no exaggeration here too}.  I felt so guilty that I made him feel this way.  It broke my heart.  However, going into this week, him and I have become much closer.  I think his anger towards me is slowly diminishing, and he is beginning to understand that during the day he goes by a sitter and before he knows it, mama is back holding and kissing him {this would actually be an understatement, I maul my kids.  I just love them so much!}

Anyways, the kids are having a great time at their babysitters house; and to me that is all that matters.  They are cared for in every way that I would hope and that makes me happy!

I Did It!

Last weekend, May 21st, I graduated from college with a diploma in Medical Transcription! It was a great feeling as I walked into the auditorium to take my seat with other graduating students. Finally, after getting married, having two children, months of hardship and trying times, and long nights studying; I earned my chance to walk across that stage and receive my diploma. I couldn't be more proud of myself. I FINALLY did it!



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AFO (foot braces) Day!!

Check out Vinny's photo collage of his new AFOs!!!

Piece of Mind

Tomorrow, Vinny starts attending a home daycare.  I've decided to put him in one once or twice a week so to have the much needed time I need to work on my school work as this semester finishes up.  I've also been in search of someone perfect for him so that when I do get a job, I am comfortable with where he his going.

I was referred to a home daycare by Vinny's Birth to 3 coordinator of a women who only accepts children with special needs.  The reason for this, is because she has a special needs child herself, and knows how hard it is to find someone that you can trust to care for your child the way we would care for them.

I met with Nikki last Tuesday and instantly felt comfortable knowing that Vinny would be in great hands.  Nikki and her husband remind me sooooo much of Tony and I, and she knows exactly what we go through because she went through it herself.

I also feel comfortable knowing that she has 12 years experience as a nurse, an early childhood education background, and has a love and compassion for special needs children too.

When we visited her home, Vinny was such a good boy, even with me sitting there.  He played with her daughter who is also the same age.  Not once did he want me to get him.  In fact, I think he didn't even want me to be there ;)

This will be a great fit.  I knew it from the moment I met her, and this certainly gives me piece of mind that he will be cared for appropriately.

Approaching the Finish Line

This is what I have been looking at for what seems like forever.  My nights consist of many opened books on both sides of me, with loads of medical terminology and transcription style and formatting rules everywhere I turn. These past few weeks I have been crazy busy with school work.  Finally, it's coming to an end in the next few weeks.  To finally have the ability to work as a Medical Transcriptionist will be great.  Now if only I can find a job.

On my left

On my right

My beloved resources

Update:  Job search = Complete!!!! 

Brothers

Here is a video of Jake and Vinny playing.  Jake loves to hold Vinny, and Vinny gives him a run for his money as you will see in this video.

Also, almost always on a daily basis, I have to separate these two boys at the lunch table because Jake likes to make silly faces at his brother while he is eating resulting in Vinny laughing hysterically with food in his mouth.  Can we say "choking hazard."

Silly Face

Hysterical Laughter - wish I had this on video

Moments of Sadness Reply

I recently replied to a posting on our HPE Yahoo Support Group in regards to the moments of sadness we, as moms to special needs children, experience.  This is what I wrote:

I can completely relate to this. Based on the rest of these replies back, you certainly are not alone.

For me I call these moments 'Vinny Moments', because it is the times when I think about how things could have been. I have one trigger that gets me in my Vinny moment, and it is when I see my nephew, just two months older than Vinny, walking, talking, playing with his siblings, etc. To see this adorable little child, unfortunately, is a dagger in the chest for me. I'm reminded of the fact that Vinny will not be able to do those things. But I'm also reminded that he CAN do those things, but in his own way.



Every smile, every laugh, every attempt at crawling on the floor, every attempt at grabbing what it is he wants, and every day that he is on this earth, is a miracle. How many people can say that they live with or have lived with a miracle. We are SO LUCKY to have our special children, and I wouldn't change it for the world.


I've posted on my blog an entry called "wandering mind". Its about how I worry about the care for Vinny when I am gone. Again, it is something that I think about, and those thoughts and the thoughts of what could have been will never go away. I get through these moments because I find true comfort in knowing that I am not alone, and that I have a great group of moms and dads that can relate and provide support and encouraging words.

Thank you to all of you!