A recent HOPElights facebook post prompted me to write this entry about what happens to me when my mind wonders sometimes. Here is what the post said:
I am a parent of a child with special needs. I worry about what will happen to my child, after I am gone. It is hard to explain this to others who are not in the same predicament, which leaves me feeling lonely and sometimes scared. But just as the moon rises and sets above me, I will have faith, hope and confidence that the right answers, at the right time, will unfold before me and my child will be protected with love. HOPELights♥
Just yesterday, while lying down during Vinny's nap, my mind started to wander. It's hard to explain, but it goes so fast. A single thought about anything can trigger a new thought related to Vinny and what he has, and what his future and our future will be like. Yesterdays wandering mind, brought me to think about who will take care of my son when I am gone? {tear} Who will make sure that he is well cared for? Who will keep him from going to some facility, alone, with no one to talk to or care for him like I would? This breaks my heart and tares me up inside, and even as I write this I can't hold back the tears.
Vinny will always have his brother, I know that. But I just worry about everything else. It is a terrible feeling, the unknown. During that brief few moments when my mind wanders, that too, is a terrible, scary, and isolating feeling, and then like that, I snap out of from my wandering mind, pray for some peace and guidance from God, and move on.
A quote can change the way you think about challenges you face. -Catherine Pulsifer
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